Should You Invite Kids to Your Wedding? How to Handle the Decision With Grace

Will your wedding be an all-ages celebration or adults only? It’s not always an easy decision, but it is one that nearly every couple ends up confronting at some point. It’s not that you don’t want people on your guest list to feel left out, but the notion of infants, toddlers or older kids attending the ceremony and reception presents a whole series of challenges.

Here’s how to handle this touchy situation while keeping everyone (including yourself) as happy as can be.

Choose Early and Stay There

You can address this question, you and your partner, when you are well in advance of sending out invitations. Warning though: it’s a subject that can stir some heated discussions. A recent poll showed that about a quarter of people think kids should be allowed at weddings at all times. But the logistics can be harder to pull off than they seem.

When working with unpredictable kids, you’ll also need to depend on parents to take over in case things get bumpy. It’s also crucial to consider your budget when deciding on a kid-friendly reception. Will it be necessary to up your guest count? Arrange on-site childcare?

Simultaneously, a blanket “no kids” policy might be an affront to some guests — particularly family members who had been planning to have their little ones in tow. If your wedding is out of town, child care may be even more difficult for parents traveling to attend.

Clarify Your Expectations

Once you make a decision, say so in clear language. How to share it with your guests is up to you — it can be a part of your invitation suite or a page on your wedding website — according to your preferences.

Whatever the approach, be sure to define:

If Kids Are Invited or Not

Be truthful, but feel free not to explain. This is your wedding and it’s your call.

Which Children Are Included (If Any)

If you’re including only certain children (say, nieces and nephews), be sure to note that. Some will take if badly if you don’t include their kids, so be sensitive on the subject.

What You Expect From Parents

It’s vital that parents are aware that they are responsible for their children and their actions when coming to the event. Tell them from the jump so there’s no confusion or awkwardness down the line.

If You Are Having a Kid-Friendly Wedding…

If you choose to include children at your celebration, it’s a good idea to make a few plans to entertain them — and their parents.

Hire a Children’s Entertainer

A pro will entertain the kids during more sedate points of the event (speeches, dinner), allowing everyone else to take a break.

Add Reception Activities

Leave a coloring book, puzzle, or easy craft at the kids’ table to keep them entertained. This is not only a way to keep them busy, but it’s also helpful toward minimizing distractions.

Offer a Kid-Friendly Menu

The kiddos probably won’t be too into the gourmet menu. Provide a few easy options — mac and cheese, chicken tenders, or pasta — to ensure that everyone at the table enjoys a meal.

Provide Organized Childcare

If your budget is unlimited, having a nanny care for a group of kids can really blow off stress. Search for local services that have good reviews and that specialize in weddings.

Final Thoughts

Whether to invite children to your wedding is a very personal decision. Talk it out with your partner, and pick what makes the most sense for you with all of the available options and your guest list in mind. With some thoughtful planning and clear communication, you can navigate this delicate matter gracefully — and throw a party that suits you and everyone else.