Everything You Need to Know About the Bouquet Toss

I always loved the mix of old and new traditions that come with weddings, and one of them that we’ve carried through the centuries is the whole bouquet toss thing. The bride throws the bouquet over her shoulder to a group of all the single ladies. Whoever catches it is believed to be “next” to get married. It tends to happen in the late evening at the reception—and can get surprisingly competitive, with attendees diving and dodging for that coveted floral pile.

For the couple, it’s a cheeky way to pay tribute to their single friends and spread a bit of romantic luck around. And for the fortunate wedding guest who manages to catch the bouquet, it they don’t meet their soulmate that night, they do leave with a lovely floral keepsake. To learn more about the roots of this tradition and its significance, we spoke to wedding planner and design expert Caleb Dorian.

Here, we take a look at the origins of the bouquet toss, and share ideas for how to shake up the tradition in a contemporary context.

The History and Symbolism of the Bouquet Toss

Today’s bouquet toss has its roots in even more ancient tradition, though it was popularized in 19th-century England. In other centuries, however, there was a superstition that it was good luck to touch the bride on her wedding day. And groups of single women would occasionally cluster around, hoping that her good fortune could be transferred by contact.

According to lore, women were even reported to have tried tearing pieces of the bride’s gown, in some cases, for good luck. To avert this, the bride would throw her bouquet and run away. “It wasn’t just about superstition — it was practical, keeping the dress clean and preventing mayhem,” says Dorian. “The bouquet became a very lucky charm, but also a convenient distraction.”

Because at that time, for women, marriage was often the only way out of, or up in, the social and financial precariat. Marriage represented stability, and single women latently, and sometimes overtly, coveted that security.

The Bouquet Toss Today

In the world we live in today, where marriage is a luxury and a joy as much or more than a necessity, the bouquet toss has instead become a lighthearted, spirited moment. Now it’s a way for the married woman to connect with her single friends and to infuse the evening with a little fun and laughter.

If you want to have the bouquet toss at your party, let your DJ or band know in advance so they can arrange to play a great song. At the reception the couples are assembled on the dance floor and are told the toss is about to take place, just as you the bride have turned your back and are ready to throw the bouquet over your shoulder. Whoever snags it is announced to be the next in line for romance — at least in theory.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who is invited to the bouquet toss?

By tradition, it’s open to unmarried women. But try not to push anyone to be part of it — some guests may not be in the mood. Whether driven by heartbreak, shyness or simple lack of interest, let them opt out with no fuss. The toss is designed to be fun, not coerced.

What time do you order the flowers?

Regardless of whether you’re using your main wedding bouquet or ordering a second one to throw, you should plan for your flowers to be ordered six to nine months in advance.

What is the price of a bouquet for the toss?

That really depends on your overall flower budget. The toss bouquet is also traditionally something that’s smaller and less expensive than the main bouquet. Ask your florist if they offer package deals for the two.

During the reception, when should it occur?

There’s no official rule of thumb, though it tends to be after toasts, dinner and formal dances — often just after the cake-cutting.

How long does it last?

The ACTUAL bouquet toss is usually over the span of only one song. Just be sure to schedule the pace with your DJ and give your friends the heads up so they don’t miss their chance!

What happens after the toss?

“It’s always one of the last-minute things in the night,” says Dorian. “Then the party continues until the couple has their grand exit.”

Do I really have to throw my bouquet?

Not at all. Lots of couples want to preserve their original bouquet. “We just make a little smaller one, just for throwing,” Dorian says. “It’s also easier to throw and catch.”

And does the catcher get to keep the bouquet?

If they want to keep it — and the newlywed is perfectly OK with that — awesome! If not, on the following day, couples frequently give their flowers away to guests, or donate them to a nearby charity or care home.

What happens if a man catches the bouquet?

Traditions have been changing lately and we’re all in favor. Whoever wants to get in should be allowed to get in. If a man catches it — accidentally, deliberately; maybe fate just took an odd turn.

Other Options for the Bouquet Toss

At some level, the notion of drawing attention to their relationship status can be very off-putting to people. The toss also can become rowdy, and even lead to injuries from heels and crowding.

And for a solution that includes everyone, have an anniversary dance. “Ask all the married couples to join you on the dance floor,” Dorian recommends. “Then get the emcee to progressively reduce the number of people standing — all the married one year, five years, 10 years. The last couple still dancing wins the bouquet. It’s a gorgeous ode to lasting love and barmen love to hear it ordered.

Final Thoughts

Whether you eschew the traditional bouquet toss or go for a new twist on the custom, your personality and your guest list should be your only guides. If your friends are into it, by all means, loseyourshoey. If it feels awkward or old-fashioned, opt out — or replace it with a more inclusive celebration. But in the end, wedding traditions are only as meaningful as you make them.