Yes, You Can Request Money Instead of Wedding Gifts—Here’s How to Ask in a Polite Way

Whether you’ve already established a home together, you live in a tiny space and there is literally no room for new things, or you’re saving toward something big—like a honeymoon or a down payment—it’s totally okay to ask for money in the form of cash in lieu of traditional wedding gifts. The key is how you ask.

“There’s a gracious way to ask for a monetary gift that makes all parties feel good,” said Danielle Greyson, an etiquette expert. You can diplomatically let your guests know what you prefer, and help your guests contribute to something that is actually helpful.

Here are the best etiquette-friendly ways to ask for money as a wedding gift — and get cash with grace.

Is It Okay to Ask for Cash as a Wedding Gift on Your Invitations?

The short answer: No. “It is never appropriate to indicate any sort of gift preference, either monetary or otherwise, on your actual wedding invitation,” Greyson says.

Instead, include an insert card that refers guests to your wedding website. That is where you can disseminate the specifics of your registry, including the bit about how much you’d love cash gifts. “It’s completely okay to not want physical gifts,” Greyson says. “Just let them know that in a clear and respectful way.”

How to Ask for Money Instead of GiftsPolitely

Now that you know to restrain yourself and not mention cash gifts on the invites, here are a few classy, or at least polite, ways to do so:

Ask those closest to you to pass the word along

Reveal this to your inner circle — say your parents, siblings and wedding party — that you’re wishing for cash, and explain why. Whether it’s saving for a once-in-a-­lifetime trip, a home project or something more practical, they can convey that message when guests inevitably ask what you’d like.

Tell Your Customers What You Would Use the Money For

Cash is impersonal, so add a personal touch. Are you banking money for your honeymoon? Renovating your home? Moving across the country?

Employ your wedding website to detail what the funds will go toward and why it’s important to you. “When guests know the story of why you’re asking them for something, they’ll be more likely to give — and will feel good about doing so,” says Greyson.

Register for the Honeymoon or Cash

And some of her guests are going to want to do that online instead of showing up with an envelope. That’s where the honeymoon or cash registry comes in handy. Platforms such as Giftwell or NestFund enable your guests to safely give to your savings goals, stay or travel plans.

These often let you divide up your goals into tangible experiences, such as “snorkeling in Bali,” or “dinner at a vineyard,” and make the gifting process a little more fun and personal.

How to Make Your Cash Request More Elegant

Asking for money is more complicated than throwing a link on the internet — it’s about framing the ask in a thoughtful way.

Still Create a Small Traditional Registry

And even if you’re wishing for cash, throw in a couple of things that guests can hold in their hands, for anyone who likes to give and receive a present. Pick things you’ll actually use and love — say, upgraded cookware or a snuggly throw blanket. It prevents a jumble of random gifts, and everybody finds something they’re comfortable giving.

Have a Reception Card Box

Your online registry won’t be utilized by everyone. Certain that at least some guests will carry cash or checks on the day of the wedding. To prevent lost cards or uncomfortable hand-offs, position a pretty card box on one of the reception tables. Request from your event planner or other trusted friend to monitor it throughout the evening.

Send Thank-You Notes — No Matter What

From the brand new toaster to a generous check or a lovingly made handmade gift, all of your guests deserve a heartfelt thank you statement. Send out handwritten notes These should go out within a few months after the wedding. Note the present itself, and, if you received cash, how you intend to use it.

Final Thoughts

Requesting money as a wedding gift doesn’t have to be awkward. With a little tact and the right messaging, you can direct guests to what you really need — no one the wiser, no one uncomfortable. And don’t forget: It’s not what you ask for, it’s how you ask for it that makes the difference.