Wedding Party Roles and Responsibilities Explained: Who Does What on the Big Day
Once you and your boo are engaged, one of the most thrilling steps is asking your closest friends and family to join your wedding party. And this group — typically comprising your nearest and dearest — will be your emotional support system throughout all the planning, and throughout the big day.
Some concerting roles, such as the maid of honor or the best man, come with a lot of responsibility. Others, such as a flower child or ring bearer, exist to add charm and sweetness to the ceremony. Parents are often members of the wedding party as well, delivering toasts, contributing to finances and offering support behind the scenes.
Go traditional, forgo attendants all together, add a much-loved pet — it’s up to you. Here’s what you need to know about whom to include — and what each role generally entails.
Do You Need a Wedding Party?
Short answer: Not really (not yet). A wedding party is optional. It’s a way to have your loved ones with you leading up to the wedding, during the ceremony and over the course of the celebration. Assigning someone a role is a way of saying thank you and bolstering their participation, but there are no right answers — you do you.
What each role generally entails Having a clear idea about what a role actually involves will help you to finalise your list.
Who Is in the Wedding Party
You want to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, which makes choosing your wedding party tricky. Most frequently, couples choose brothers and sisters best friends and close relatives— but your lineup is as traditional or inventive as you want.
Here is a primer on the traditional roles and what they usually do.
Maid, Matron, or Man of Honor
This is the bride’s best friend. Frequently that’s a best friend or a sibling, and they help with everything from finding a dress to planning the pre-wedding party. And on the big day, they’ll be hands-on, whether they’re straightening your gown or soothing your nerves. If spouse is involved, the title is "matron of honor." Some couples select a maid and a matron to be a co-conspirator.
Best Man or Best Woman
It is equivalent to the maid of honor but for the groom. The place is usually taken by a brother or long-time friend. Duties include planning the bachelor party, toasting the couple at the reception and potentially carrying the rings during the ceremony.
Bridesmaids and Bridesmen
This posse is for planning and emotional support. They might lend a hand with pre-wedding events, accompany the bride to fittings and chip in for the bridal shower. The big day, they walk down the aisle ahead of the bride and assist as needed — perhaps escorting guests or distributing programs.
Groomsmen and Groomswomen
This group will assist the groom and will handle tasks and events (such as the rehearsal dinner or bachelor party). On the wedding day, they might welcome guests, guide them to their seats and stand next to the groom at the altar. They also have the fun details to take care of, such as decorating the getaway car.
Page Boy
Frequently seen walking next to the flower girl, this little guy is usually a boy from the couple’s family or circle. They can hold signs and assist with small ceremonial duties.
Ring Bearer
Will hold the rings, can be carried by a child, pet or other member of the wedding party. Occasionally completion’s best man has the real rings and completion the ring bearer enters with a symbolic set.
Flower Girl or Flower Child
This sweet role is usually played by a young relative or friend. Traditionally, the girl chosen for the role is young but today couples select boys, grandparents and even animals to fill the spot. Their role: to walk down the aisle and sprinkle flower petals, sometimes dressed in an adorable ensemble or crowned with a wreath of flowers.
Mother of the Groom
She provides emotional support and assists with hosting guests. She might aid in wedding-planning, dance with the groom at the reception and even offer a toast.
Father of the Groom
The father of the groom really has no one job to do, but he might also assist with planning or make a welcome speech. His part is adaptable according to the wishes of the couple.
Mother of the Bride
Frequently a chief planner and the bride’s point person throughout the day, she may help the bride dress, raise a toast and spend the day by her daughter’s side.
Father of the Bride
His wedding responsibilities, traditionally limited to paying for it, now depend on the couple. There are typically two important duties that still stand, giving a speech and dancing with the bride.
Ushers
These attendants are dressed in matching attire and personally receive guests to escort them to their seat. They tend to be friends of the couple and separate from the groomsmen, with fewer pre-wedding obligations.
Officiant
Outfitted with a religious leader, a celebrant or a friend with a one-day ordination, an officiant leads the ceremony and the legal paperwork. Their temperament and personality can easily determine the ambiance of the ceremony.
FAQ
When Do You Ask Someone to Be in Your Wedding?
Cut yourself some slack — ideally, until you’ve picked your own date and established a vision for your day. A couple of months after getting engaged is a nice marinating period, taking the time to make requests is the perfect amount of time.
How Big Should the Wedding Party Be?
There’s no standard number. You may have no attendants, a single one or a full complement of 10 or more. That depends on you: your particular tastes, whether it’s an intimate gathering or a crush of living-room guests, your friendships.
