What to Give When There’s No Wedding Registry

Most wedding invitations, as well as wedding websites, contain important information about gifts — generally pointing guests to a wardrobe (make sure this includes the groom), or a honeymoon fund. But they’re not always mentioned at all, or the couple have written a simple “No Gifts, Please.” In such situations, guests might not know how — or if — to give.

“If there is no registry listed, check out the couple’s wedding website or ask the couple directly,” etiquette adviser Eleanor Price says. “You just catch it wrong, or they have something in their head. “But if the invitation specifically says no presents, then respect their wishes.”

Still wondering if you should take something anyway? We asked wedding professionals for their tips.

Give If You Can

And that’s not to say that it would necessarily be inappropriate to bring a gift, either. Even if a couple says they don’t want gifts, it doesn’t mean they don’t want them. “When couples go registry-free, it tends to be because they don’t want boxed gifts,” says wedding planner Dana Rowen. “A lot of times, a cash gift is still an appreciated gift. You can always ask a family member or a host of the event to make sure.”

Event designer Camille Knox agrees. “I read ‘No Registry’ as don’t worry, and that the cash will be more than welcome—even when they write something along the lines of, ‘Your presence is our present.’ I personally don't mind giving gifts that mean something to the recipient. I’m a sucker for planting trees in a place that is significant to the couple. It’s a beautiful and symbolic gesture to mark the beginning of their new journey.”

Don’t Feel Obligated

And if the couple has requested no gifts, you have absolutely no obligation to bring one. Sending a thoughtful note or card can be a beautiful way to share in someone’s happiness and excitement. “Giving a gift should be based on what you’re able to afford and your intentions, not just because society dictates that you do this or that,” says the photographer Hallie James. “After you’ve already likely shelled out a lot on travel or on attire, most couples wouldn’t expect you to have to stretch your budget further,” she added.

“Lessening their financial burden, it could be the couple’s way of saving their friends and family the stress of having to figure out what they need for a gift. But between us, personally, I would still take along something small — something thoughtful, not expensive.”

Final Thought

Without a registry, your main focus should be on honoring whatever the couple wants while allowing your heart to lead the way. Gift or no gift, card or no card, appearance with love or without, it’s the thought and the feeling, the willingness, that count.