Top 10 Things Guests Should Never Do at a Wedding

It sounds easy to attend a wedding: You respond to the invite, show up on time, present a gift, then sit back and enjoy the party. But even the most well-meaning guests can still make a startling etiquette mistake. By no means do we mean physical fisticuffs on the dance floor (though sure, there’s plenty of that, too), but instances of decorum-gone-wrong that happen so fast the perpetrator doesn’t even realize they’ve left an indelible, regrettable mark. From flaunting dress codes to last-minute no-shows and missing gifts, these faux pas have the potential to throw a wrench into what should be a seamless and happy occasion.

To help guests avoid these faux pas, we talked to three experienced wedding professionals. Here is what they say are the biggest mistakes not to make — and how you can be the type of guest all couples dream of having.

Asking to Bring a Plus-One

If the courier doesn’t mention one, don’t ask if you can bring a plus-one, says etiquette expert Marianne Ellis. “It makes the hosts uncomfortable,” she says. If there is no plus-one, respect it. Either go it alone or turn it down if you feel uncomfortable going solo.

If you are graced with a plus-one, make sure your date knows to temper the etiquette. “They should introduce themselves, politely get involved in conversation, and not overimbibe,” Ellis says.

Canceling After You’ve RSVPed

Ideally, you should avoid flipping or changing your RSVP (once you have!) says planner Nolan Reed. “Every single RSVP turns into meals, seating charts, and transport coordination,” he says. “If you have something unavoidable come up, you’d want to communicate that as early to the hosts as possible so they can mitigate things,” he said.

Ignoring the Dress Code

If a dress code has been set, obey it — without exception. “One person in a very bright outfit among a bunch of neutrals ruins the visual harmony,” says planner Sasha Quinn. It’s not just a matter of style, it’s a mark of respect for their hosts’ preferences.”

And if you’re not sure, don’t ask the couple. Get in touch with someone in the wedding party, instead, to ask for advice.

Wearing White

And unless a particular day’s service calls for it, never, under any circumstances, wear white. “For a patterned dress with a white base, even that’s a risk, so it’s safer to do something else,” says Reed. “Show respect for the couple’s spotlight.”

Skipping Seats at the Ceremony

It may seem innocent to have empty seats at the ceremony, but those awkward looking gaps make bad photos and break the visual of your ceremony (not to mention it looks really bad in video). “When filling in, always start from the middle or front to keep it looking consistent,” Reed says.

Arriving Late

Timing matters. “Showing up late is disruptive to the ceremony and the energy,” says Reed. “Give yourself enough time to find your seat and get comfortable.”

If you’re late to the game, do not slither in during the most important parts. “Wait to join until the ceremony ends, or join midway through the cocktail hour,” says Quinn.

Tweeting Before the Bride and Groom

Avoid posting ceremony snaps or dance-floor videos before the couple do. “You could ruin a cool reveal or something,” Reed adds. “Have them make the story break on their end.”

Also: Do not ever post someone’s professional photos in their profile without permission. “We’re just as vendors always waiting for that green light,” Quinn says. “The same thought should be given to guests.”

Blocking the Photographer

All the photography team has to do is shoot the moments that count. “People jumping in the shot [or] taking over the shot themselves can ruin the photographer’s work,’’ says Ellis. “Get off your phone and be in the moment.”

“We all too often see beautiful pictures ruined by guests hoisting their phones. It’s better for everyone if you just breathe in the moment.”

Overindulging at the Bar

Boozing it up a little too much is one of the most common mistakes made by guests. “It impairs your judgment and can lead to awkward situations,” Ellis says. “Celebrate, but don’t overdo reactions.”

“Your behavior makes sure everyone has a comfortable, respectful experience,” Reed notes.

Skipping the Gift

Yes, weddings can be expensive for guests — but a lack of gift at all is still arguably rude. “Use the registry and find something in your price range,” Ellis says. “There’s always something thoughtful and inexpensive.”

In the end, being a great guest is all about thoughtfulness and respect. Because as Quinn says: “You don’t have to love every last thing, but respecting what the couple wants demonstrates that you give a s—, and that’s the real way to create lasting memories.”