How Much Should You Give as a Wedding Gift? Here's What Experts Say

Hint: It all depends on your relationship to the couple.

When you accept an invitation to a wedding, you’re committing to follow guest etiquette — to show up on time, dressed as prescribed and bearing a thoughtful gift. But what even constitutes “thoughtful”? Traditions differ, but the consensus among etiquette mavens is this: A gift should be meaningful and express your relationship with the couple — and your budget.

“A guest should bring something sentimental that they can afford,” said event consultant Nora Lansing of Hearttree Celebrations.

Before you open your wallet or shop aimlessly from a registry, here are the average and recommended spending ranges. We collected advice from a few industry pros to help you figure out an appropriate amount to spend, whether you’re gifting a co-worker, a close friend or attending with a plus-one.

The Average Amount You Should Spend on a Wedding Gift

The majority of experts recommend $100 to $150 per guest. That figure could go up or down based on your relationship to the couple, and whether you’re going alone or with a partner.

“This number has stuck over time because it approximately reflects the price of the reception,” says planner Kayla Summers of Merriway Events. “The concept that you’re ‘covering your plate’ is one that was more popular in the past, but nowadays, it’s about doing what’s right for your financial situation.”

In other words: You are not supposed to stretch your budget. Give what you can afford, depending on how well you know the couple — and don’t fret about making it to an arbitrary number.

How Much to Spend Based on The Status of Your Relationship

Not sure what an appropriate dollar figure is quite yet? Here, registry consultant Ava Cordell of Maple & Fern offers a general guide to how much to ask for and how much to expect.

• Co-workers, neighbors, distant relatives: $50 to $70
• Good friends: $75 to $100
• Close family or best friends: $100 to $150+

If you’re bringing a date, it’s customary to double the gift. These are not hard-and-fast ranges, so use them as guidance based on your budget. And if you want to give more, and are able, it’s always appreciated.

What if I am traveling for the wedding?

Guests who travel great distances typically ratchet up huge costs — for flights, hotels, time off work — and that money can go up in smoke. If you are already shelling out hundreds just to attend, then it’s perfectly O.K. to price the gift accordingly.

“Travel is inherent to the celebration, and most couples will get if your gift is a little more humble as a result,” says Summers. “It’s the presence over presents that matters.”

How to Budget for Wedding Gifts

Here is a collection of smart strategies for handling gift-giving without breaking the bank:

Stick to your budget. So, pick a sum you won’t stress about. If you can’t locate a single item, see if you can combine smaller ingredients to correspond with your target.

Go practical. Useful household basics — measuring spoons, kitchen towels — can still be heartfelt and meaningful.

Give where it counts. Pass on gifts for nonrequired events, like engagement parties, focus on the ones where gifts are expected.

Also, don’t forget: You’ve already made a meaningful gesture if you’ve donated time, effort or skills (like helping with decorations or day-of coordination).

FAQ

Can we skip gifting them anything for the wedding entirely?

If you’re invited, you are expected to bring a gift — but it doesn’t have to be expensive or traditional. A handwritten letter, a bespoke service, even a token donation to a honeymoon fund can express love.

What if I am not attending the wedding?

If you can’t make it, you’re not required to send a gift, but some guests elect to send the couple a small item or card, especially if they have a close relationship with the couple. A good range in this case would be $50 to $100.

Should I send a gift when invited to a destination wedding?

According to old etiquette, no, but it’s changing. Today, destination weddings are so common, and most guests still give gifts — perhaps just a little scaled back. You’re already making a nice offer; if you’re dropping hundreds of dollars to get there, your presence is all that’s necessary.