Does Age Difference Matter in a Relationship? Here’s What Science (and Experience) Says

When you first begin dating someone new, you’re probably already considering whether or not you have similar values, are equally attractive and interested in the other person, right? But there is one more thing that can really help you determine whether you get on well together and that is the age difference between you. And some studies, such as one published in 2025, indicate that a 10-plus-year age gap actually increases the likelihood of partner dissatisfaction and divorce. Perhaps there’s an ideal age difference between spouses that leads to a long marriage. The right number might be smaller than you’d guess.

That’s one formula for love, but of course love is not formulaic. It takes work, communication and shared understanding to maintain a healthy relationship, no matter how old you are. Still, if you’re wondering how age affects long-term compatibility, we’ve got some insights that might help steer you in the right direction.

The Best Age Difference For A Long Lasting Relationship

There was good news for you if you’re age-peer relationships, that is — if your partner is as old as you are. Because a study published in the Journal of Population Economics found that couples with the smallest age differences — zero to three years — report the greatest degree of marital satisfaction. Couples with gaps of four to six years were limited ly less likely to be satisfied, and couples with age gaps of seven years or more were even less likely.

The researchers speculate that couples with large age differences may be less able to respond to life’s challenges together, which restricts their lives overall. Asynchronous life stages, such as the struggles that can arise between parents and retired people, can also place tension on a friendship.

But the advantage of a younger partner may also become evident as life goes on, and sex and partnership become a part of a woman’s identity, said Jessica O’Reilly, the author of “The New Sex Bible,” who was not involved in the study.

How much does the age gap really matter?

Age disparities in a relationship can shape its dynamics, but they don’t determine its outcome. People are not statistics, and no study can tell the future of your individual relationship. These patterns are only possible areas of friction, particularly in case you and your partner are in different stations in life.

If you’ve found someone you have intimate feelings for, even if they fall into the category of significantly older or significantly younger, don’t let some number make you feel like your connection is insignificant. But if you are finding that compatibility, you know, in terms of communication, of shared values, of shared interests, really that’s coming between you, then I would have to say that you need to look and see if age is playing a part in that.

Questions to Ask in a Relationship With a Significant Age Difference

If you’re thinking the long term with someone and their age is significantly different from your own, you might want to see where you both fall around some important issues. Ask yourselves the following questions to ensure you’re on the same page:

What is your end goal?

Talk about where you see your career going in the future, discuss aspirations you have in your love life, accomplishments you’ve achieved and what you’d like to one day.

Do you have shared interests?

Common interests become all the more important with time. Common pursuits can strengthen your bond and help to offset age-related differences.

Do you share the same values, outlook on life and way of thinking?

Dig deeper into the law of compatibility. Bring up things that may be a turn-off, such as politics, religion, and lifestyle expectations, simply to see if you can find some common ground.

Do you tend to be flexible or rigid?

Compromise is important in a relationship, but even more so when you and your partner are in different stages of life. Flexibility is crucial to growth together.

Are you ok with what others will say?

The negative assumptions of others are one of the challenges that couples with big age differences face, says social psychologist Dr Elena Vega. If you’re sensitive to criticism or receiving unsolicited opinions, get ready to deal with it together.

"In the end, every relationship is different. Age can affect how a couple evolves together, but it doesn’t need to be an obstacle. What matters is that they are both dedicated to openness, respect and understanding. Armed with those tools, love can flourish — no matter the difference in age.