15 Things to Do After You Get Engaged That Every Couple Should Add to Their To-Do List

After that heady moment wherein you get engaged, you’ll probably spend days (or weeks!) with family and friends. But after the elation has worn off, reality sets in — it’s time to plan the wedding. This phase can be daunting, but it becomes achievable when broken up into smaller, doable tasks. According to Chicago-based luxury planner Devon Raynor, now is the ideal time to start narrowing down your guest list, search for a planner, and secure your venue and vendors.

Even if you’re excited to get on with planning, don’t forget to stop and savor the transition. “There’s this period of time between engagement and planning that is overlooked,” said Maya Ellis, a wedding planner in Dallas. You’ve made a serious life choice — don’t let the logistics overpower the loveliness of this next phase.” “Go and take at least two to four weeks to really drink this in,” Raynor said, “because making decisions that are driven by excitement or anxiety can lead to unnecessary stress down the line. To start with intention will save you time, energy and money.”

Here, Ellis and Raynor list the 15 most important things you should do after you get engaged.

Savor the Moment

Don’t immediately switch into planning mode. “Pause and play the moment,” Ellis says. “It’s so easy to make lists and plans and appointments, but take time to celebrate together — just the two of you.

Tell Friends and Family the Good News

Let your nearest and dearest know first — your parents, your siblings, your best friends. Ellis says to try to do this in person, or on a video call, if you can. “There’s something magical about getting a hug from your inner circle when you share such big news.”

Go Public (Strategically)

After a plan is in place, the next step is sharing the news with others. Raynor recommends sharing a handful of curated images on social media or sending an email announcement. “Hand a printed engagement card to older relatives who may save this as a beautiful keepsake (also, helpful for getting started on your guest list).

Insure the Ring

You wouldn’t think about it, but insuring an engagement ring is as important as buying a home or a car. “It’s like a little insurance policy for a big investment,” Raynor says. The earlier you begin doing it, the better.

Envision the Celebration

Well before picking vendors, think about what kind of celebration you both want. “What kind of experience do you want to offer your guests?” Ellis asks. “The question is, is it intimate and personal or is it sort of elaborate and immersive?” Raynor adds: “Decide what your top priorities are, guest hospitality, design, atmosphere — and make those your guiding principles.”

Build a Mood Board

When you have a rough idea, gather inspiration. “Utilize Pinterest, shared albums, or Instagram collections to collect photos that represent your vision,” Raynor recommends. Ellis adds, “Think about spaces, colors or even meals that impacted you. Sometimes an unspoken sense of a favorite trip or dinner means more than the photographs of table settings.”

Set a Budget

“It’s not like the most romantic bit, but it is essential,” Ellis says. Find out what you can contribute, who else is contributing and whether there’s any wiggle room. Raynor suggests working the other way, either beginning with total contributions as a way to set your max budget or starting with your priorities.

Draft a Guest List

Guest count affects everything — from where you will marry, and how much you will spend. “Create three buckets: must-haves, nice-to-haves and everyone else,” Raynor advises. Begin with two lists and add them together to get a sense of the scope of your party.

Hire a Planner

“If you’re renting a planner, this is the time,” Ellis says. Regardless of whether the service is full-blown or partial, planners work to translate ideas into reality. Raynor advises having video calls with some prospective hires. “Your planner takes on the role of a trusted sidekick — somebody who’s there on your side, to guide through logistics and feelings. Make sure it inspires a sense of connection.”

Tour Venues

“With venue choice, it’s setting your date and your ability to finally book vendors,” Raynor says. Begin researching locations near you that match your location, capacity and vibe needs. Your planner is often your first and largest expense, so she recommends hiring your planner before you make any purchases.

Set a Date

As soon as you decide on a location, your wedding date is set. If you got engaged during the holidays, think about spring or summer of the next year. “We typically recommend a 12- to 18-month engagement to keep planning relaxed,” Raynor says.

Celebrate Again

Envision hosting an engagement party — ideally not until a few of the wedding logistics have been arranged. “There’s usually a golden spot at around three months planning,” Raynor says. “Before locking a date, check with key guests about availability, or divide the circle and plan to gather for multiple events,” she adds.

Start Booking Vendors

Now that you have chosen a date and secured a venue, let’s move onto booking your vendors. “Now pair your list down to the three you want per category,” Raynor says. That way, no one gets overwhelmed, and your planning is more efficient.

Send Save-the-Dates

Send your save-the-dates six to nine months ahead of your wedding day. If you are throwing a destination wedding give guests even more time.

Stay Connected

Planning is such a stress — don’t forget to reconnect with each other. “Be together and pace it,” Ellis says. “Stay away from making forced decisions.” "This is the first of many big conversations," Raynor said. Establishing your mutual vision for life after the wedding will influence all of your current and future decisions.

Taking these steps means you’ll enter you start your wedding in a place of vision, confidence, and connection. Chill out, be yourself and savor the good times.