Why Your Dating Anniversary Is Still a Big Deal After You’re Married
Whether it was an opulent fete in a ballroom or an intimate exchange of vows on a mountainside, your day was certainly one of the most memorable in your relationship. But that doesn’t mean it should overshadow the significant milestones that preceded it. Many couples noted a different anniversary before they were married. —And there’s no reason you can’t keep celebrating.
“Celebrating dating anniversaries is like re-reading the first chapter of your favorite love story,” says marriage coach Dr. Lana Morales. “It’s a way to recapture how it all began — filled with excitement, curiosity and the magic of new love.”
For many people, that anniversary is the first date, first kiss, or when you started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Whatever that date symbolizes for you, therapist and relationship coach Corinne Vale points out that it marks the start of your journey while your wedding anniversary is a recognition of the vows you made. “Many people have different types of memories associated with dating and marriage, and acknowledging both can be a great opportunity to think about different parts of your relationship,” she explains. A few couples like having two days, why not celebrate love more, others have just their wedding anniversary.
So, if you’re wondering whether it’s worth still getting dressed up in something sexy for your dating anniversary, here’s everything you need to know — from how it’s different from a wedding anniversary to expert-approved ideas for keeping the tradition alive.
The Importance of Celebrating Your Dating Anniversary
It may feel like your dating anniversary isn’t as big of a deal once you’re married, but both experts say it should be on the calendar. “It’s like we’re going back to these magical early days where everything was new and electric,” Dr. Morales says. “It’s a time to intentionally pause and stoke the flame that brought you together in the first place.”
And even though the only really good reason to celebrate a “happy anniversary” is for the hell of it, “celebrating these milestones can ‘foster a sense of closeness in the relationship,’” Vale explains. “Taking time to enjoy one another, to reflect and to celebrate is crucial to a healthy relationship,” she says. “Nostalgia can even release feel-good chemicals in the brain, reminding you of why you chose each other — and why you keep choosing each other.”
Dating Anniversary and Wedding Anniversary
Think of your wedding anniversary as a celebration of your life together, and your dating anniversary as a celebration of where it all began. Both are valuable and good, but they happen at different places in the timeline of your relationship.
“These dating are all about the raw emotion of early love,” Dr. Morales said. “It’s a remembering of how you came up with the foundations of what you have now. The wedding anniversaries, meanwhile, evoked the endurance and commitment that arrived later.
And in the beginning of the relationship, couples tend to celebrate every mini milestone — from the first time they say “I love you” to going on occasion number one. Those smaller moments may fade from the calendar over time, and that’s fine. For some couples, their wedding anniversary is everything, while others prefer to keep the original date alive as well.
There’s no one-size-fits-all response here. But, Dr. Morales warns, wildly celebrating both anniversaries can wear out couples. “Being realistic is essential,” she says. ‘Show us bright,’ and you want to have fun.”“Big celebrations are time-consuming, energy-sapping, expensive. If those are scarce, it’s certainly fine to stick to a single day. ” It’s what you mean by it that makes a difference.
Vale concurs, and says every couple should decide what anniversaries mean to them. “Then you don’t set yourself up for miscommunication and disappointment, because if you know what your partner’s expectations are, it prevents disappointment,” she says. “I’ve worked with numerous couples who assumed the other wasn’t concerned — when, in reality, they just never talked about it.”
Things to Do for an Anniversary: Let the Romantic Antics Begin!
If you and your spouse want to continue celebrating your dating anniversary, make it unique from your wedding. To bring some of that early lust back into the picture, Dr. Morales recommends leaning into the playful, nostalgic vibe of your early days together.
Recreate your first date, go to that same cafe or prepare a variation of the first meal you shared together. Put together a mix tape of old favorites or rewatch your first movie. Unlike a wedding anniversary, where you might have a big party or re-watch your wedding video, the dating anniversary is a little bit less of an event, and more of a low-key celebration.
For a little more meaning, Vale suggests considering love languages. If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, pen them a heartfelt note. If they’re more into acts of service or physical touch, schedule a cozy night in or give them a surprise back rub. “It’s a way to show them you remember not just the day but the feeling,” she says.
Looking for a gift with a more personal touch? Dr. Morales recommends gifting something themed to your first date. “Was it a movie night? Give them a copy of that movie or a keepsake from it,” she says. “It doesn’t have to be expensive — just thoughtful.”
The Takeaway
Whether or not you choose to acknowledge your dating anniversary, what will really matter in the long run is the continued hard work and caring for one another in your relationship. That might translate into a romantic night out — or brewing your partner’s coffee just how they like it, every morning.
“Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, anniversaries are an opportunity to press the pause button and re-connect,” explains Dr. Morales. “They remind you of how far you’ve come — and why it’s all still worth celebrating.”
